At least make sure they are 18
Why
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
