awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
