I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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