Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
