Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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