If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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