Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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