she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
