I feel like I'm in dance class right now
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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