Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
