He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
