just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
