I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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