do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
