Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
