he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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