Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
