I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
