but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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