thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
