Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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