I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
