I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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