Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
