thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
