so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
