No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
