Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
