theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
