Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
