It's Friday. Sex?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
