thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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