fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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