its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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