p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
True strength comes from lack of pants
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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