Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
