I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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