Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
