I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
