I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I want to fling myself into the sun
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
