U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize