one might say we're banned from that church
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
