Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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