It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
