this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
