I've blown a few things in my day
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Come share oat with me in your robe
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
