why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
