Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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