i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
