Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Hippo gnu deer
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
