toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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