Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
