ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
