i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
